Author’s Note: It’s interesting to re-read some of the stuff I wrote what seems like a lifetime ago. Sometimes it feels like a completely different person wrote it. One of the benefits of having written this for so long is that it has become a wonderful self-reflexive tool. It’s worth doing, even if you don’t publish it for the world to see.
I tend to have lots of ebbs and flows in my life. I don’t know if other people are like this or not, but it’s how I’ve always been.
When things are going well, they tend to go really well. When things are rough, they tend to be really rough. For every up, there’s an equal-sized down to go right along with it.
I’m kind of going through one of those downs at the moment. My mood isn’t particularly great, I don’t feel much like doing anything, I’m very reflective and unmotivated, and I think way too much. I’ve withdrawn into myself.
Sometimes I wish I could avoid these down times, but they’re all a part of my Pendulum Theory.
Brief summary of the theory, your emotional range is like a pendulum. Happy, sad. Cheerful, depressed. However far the emotional pendulum swings one way, it will swing equally far the other way.
I could always try to close myself off, to avoid the rough times. But the more I close myself off from the bad, the more I close myself off to the good.
I’d rather experience all the joy I can, even if it means more pain during the rough times.
Glutton for punishment? Maybe. Or maybe I’m just a glutton for joy.
I know this is going to come as a bit of a shock to you, but I try not to overanalyze myself. I can just see the eyes bugging out, and hear you choking on your drinks. All I do is analyze. That’s what this column is all about, right?
But this column is about observations and thoughts, not about good, hard answers and solutions. So I’m left floundering in my funk until I can figure a way to climb out of it.
I’m a firm believer in the fake-it-’til-you-make-it approach, though. I think that sometimes you have to force yourself to do healthy things you don’t really want to do, because eventually you will snap out of it and start enjoying life again.
So in keeping with that theory, I guess I just have to press on until I’m back to my old self again.
To me, life is an endless struggle to get the most out of it, regardless of the obstacles in my path.
Life’s a big party, and we’re all invited. I’m not going to let myself miss any more of that party than I have to.
Fake it until I make it sounds like a pretty good plan to me.
So for everyone who feels like staying home, pick yourself up and come on out. It’ll be a blast, and I’ll be smack dab in the middle of it!
Stop by and I’ll buy you a drink.